Even though it's painful... always
by blueraindrops
Summary: it's our lovinfangboy ~ Tasuki.. his undying love for me, i mean for miaka


Hi hello… this is my first fic about Tasuki and his undying love for Miaka… yes, for me…well, this is also my fave… please do 

Hi hello… this is my first fic about Tasuki and his undying love for Miaka… yes, for me…well, this is also my fave… please do give reviews.. they are very much welcomed and appreciated…

Okay, okay… I own Fushigi Yuugi!!! Heheeh.. I was just joking.. I don't want to be sue.. T_T

Here it is ^__~

~Setsunakutemo…Zutto~

~Even though it's painful…always~

Tasuki sat there, always, under the endless moonlight he always watches, and also at all times, again chewing a stalk of wheat in his mouth looking in nowhere while his amber eyes watch the star in the night, his fiery orange hair sways through, joining only the cold wind.Nothing to look and nothing to see, he just seems to sit there, feeling into his usual kept mood. Tasuki seem to be very happy and the go-luck attitude, you tease him; he runs after you, like wow, he's so joyful, but under that wide, big smile, and the jokes and laughters, lies a very warm, passionate, sweet and silent heart.

**Even the setting sun that sinks like it was burning out is alone, unable to embrace the earth or the deep seas.**

"No da… Gen chan, I know I'll find you in here, no da" 

Chichiri found him.

"No da, with the usual mark in your face. No da?"

He teased. 

Tasuki just remains silent.

"Do shita no desu ka?" 

Chichiri sat beside him; still chomping some no-where-to-be-found stalk of wheat was in his mouth.

"No da, you look very pale, byoki desu ka?" 

The monk continued asking and teasing Tasuki. 

"Mochiron iie" 

He replied. 

"No da, doesn't look like that.. well, maybe not but I'm very sure you're sick." 

"Chichiri, thanks, but I'm not really sick."

"Sick in something else, or love sick.. are…" 

"Stop…"

Tasuki stood up, still looking at the stars above.

**Whenever I see your tears, I can't stand it, it makes me want to hold you close from behind…**

"No da, you can't reach no da" 

Chichiri said with seriousness in his tone.

"Huh" 

Tasuki faced around. 

"Gomen, what do you mean?" 

"They are so beautiful, don't you think?" 

"Chichiri..."

Tasuki questioned very anxiously. 

"No da, the stars"

He looks up the wide, black starry sky full of dashing, bright stars that hung high above them. 

"No da, you just can't help but to fall…" 

Tasuki remained silent after Chichiri's words but the wonder was still in his face, intended to keep and so he shut not saying a word and didn't ask anything though he really wants to. Afraid he would have to leash something.

**I love you to the point it breaks me, no kinds of words are enough, because I also have a love that I can never give voice to…**

"No da, don't be afraid" 

His friend said, still gazing at the marvelous stars that shine so heavenly. 

" No da, they are so beautiful, cant stop but to fall in love... Like to her… don't hide the burning fire inside Tasuki" 

Chichiri explained.

"You can ask and set it free, in that way, you can breath" 

The monk lessons him. 

"Pardon, I don't know what you're talking about." 

"No da, running away is bad, very bad, Genchan, I know it.. It's really obvuse." 

" I'm leaving." 

"Stop it now, drop it Tasuki."

"No da, the shine in your eyes just like the stars you admire proves it. You're words and actions doesn't lie"

He was about to go when he stop, he went back near to this ever trusted and understanding monk, his friend.

**Though it's been sleeping, at the bottom of my heart, the red, painful passion takes me by surprise.**

** **

"Umm.." 

Tasuki sat and ask him.

"No da, you can continue" 

Chichiri pondered, smiling.

"Eh, is.. is it.. is it, I mean is it really obvuse?" 

"No da, hehe…"

Chichiri laughed. 

"Now, that's not fair, don't laugh.." 

Tasuki meaningly looked at his friend dancing and laughing. 

"No da, finally!" 

Chichiri rejoices. 

"Cut it, I'm not joking." 

He seriously uttered.

"No da, well, I can see it." 

Chichiri sat down with him.

"Do you think she sees it?" 

Tasuki asked. 

The monk remains silent.

**Can't become a man just by being born, true strength starts with love…**

"That's a no, isn't it?" 

Tasuki continued. 

"Hay…" 

He sighed. 

"No da, you're relief?" 

"Yes of course!"

Tasuki jumped out.

"I don't …"

He went on.

"Chichiri, she.. she's …" 

"No da, someone you always admire…" 

Chichiri cut his phrase. 

"No da, She's the most brightest and the most beautiful star you always admire, a star." 

His friend continued.

"Yes, a star I… I can't reach…" 

Tasuki uttered very silently, his head still a prisoner of the star. Forever staring at the star over him. He sheered very calm and very sorrowful. His voice tried to hide the feelings and the emotions with what he said, but still the pain overtook and felt. A kind of a tone Tasuki never used before.

**If there's a smile beyond your tears, I'll watch over you, like the dependable guy I am…**

Chichiri felt sympathy for his friend's love and ache. How he wanted to help his friend from hurting under his first and true love. 

"No da, there are still falling stars right?" 

Chichiri taught of something to prevent his friend in such agony. 

"Che, I want the way things are."

Tasuki seemingly spoke beyond his words.

"I'm happy for her" 

He continued. 

"Tamahome loves her so much and she too. They're a perfect couple."

"Noda, how bout you, my friend?" 

Chichiri asked. 

"I'm happy just seeing her happy…" 

Tasuki dowered. 

"He can make her happier than I do…" Agony went through his face and heart, pain tearing him apart. Chichiri patted his shoulder. 

"No da… now I'm sure."

"Huh?" 

Tasuki asked.

"Sure of what?"

"No da, true love.. yes, it's indeed true love." 

Chichiri answered. 

"Hee.." 

Tasuki smiled. Up to look still in the star he love to gaze.

**I love you to the point it breaks me, no kind of words are enough. If it's a love that can't be granted, then I'll wish only for your happiness…**

"No, you really like stars ne?" 

Tasuki remained silent. 

"No, You keep on looking at that star since a while ago, or should I say since before, de?" 

Chichiri teased again.

"No, hey talk you baka!" 

Chichiri teased again. 

"No, Fang boy! Water freak!" 

Chichiri added. 

"What you?! You're a piece of shet!" 

Tasuki walled his joke, now laughing, a much better sight to see than before, so much different a while ago, he was so quite, unlike the hotheaded, shrimp-coaled guy we know, he was so silent and very… very happy.. yes he is for he loves her so much, more than himself and he's willing to protect her as long as he lives, be it the only thing he has to live for… her. His love was bigger than life itself that he can sacrifice and accept all the sorrows and just smile and be happy everytime she's okay. And get and accept all the tears when he knows she's in good hands. His heart is forever hers though he knows her heart is forever him. Without end, for hers only though her one and only true love lies happily with only one man, satisfied and contented as what he always wanted for her and even though it's painful…. Always… 

**The setting sun sinks again as it embraced its passion, it reaches its inward rest, even though it's painful… always…**

** **

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End file.
